Hi, I’m Amanda

My first step out of being a victim…

…and into a healthier mindset happened when I was in my early teens. My older brother sexually assaulted me throughout my childhood, but he was always kind to my other sister. I was hurt and furious that he was so nice to her when he was so cruel to me, so I became cruel to my sister. I called her names. I criticized her. I used every possible opportunity to bring her down. One day, I realized I was allowing my pain to create pain in someone else’s life. I was horrified. That day, I decided to stop. I apologized to my sister, and I stopped taking my pain out on her. Obviously, we still had our issues because I’m not perfect, but things were much better after that. From that point on, I decided to always make a concerted effort to heal my pain and not perpetuate it into the world. It was a pivotal moment in my life and healing.

When I was a sophomore in college…

…I opened up for the first time regarding the sexual assault I experienced as a child. A wonderful, safe person in my life helped me find the resources to begin healing. I am who I am today because that person helped me take the first step toward addressing the pain in my life and working toward mental and emotional health.

In 2008, I shared my story with a group of university students.

It was the first time I ever shared anything about my past publicly, and I was terrified. However, I learned there is freedom in saying the words—freedom for me, and freedom for those with whom I share. We all grow and heal when we talk about the difficult things in life. I have accepted every possible opportunity to speak and write since then.

In 2011, I was diagnosed with PTSD…

…Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) from childhood sexual assault. I was fortunate to work with a wonderful psychologist who helped me recover from PTSD, reclaim my life, and talk about what happened. He helped me find my voice.

In 2014, I reported my older brother…

…for sexually assaulting me when I was a child. The case was in criminal court for four years, and that experience taught me so much about patience, justice, mercy, perseverance, and the importance of doing the right thing—no matter the personal cost.

In 2018, I went through a divorce…

…some severe medical issues and surgeries, and a complete shift in my career due to the medical issues. I was 30 years old, and I harnessed a decade of growing my mental and emotional health to get through it. I decided I would not let the experiences make me bitter, harsh, jaded, or cruel. Instead, I determined I would come out of it healthier, warmer, more loving, more compassionate, and more willing and able to see the best in those around me. And I did.

Percy, my dog

Authenticity,
humility,
humor

Self-love and healthy boundaries

Coffee